Do you have a kid who’s always talking about another child who’s “better” at something than s/he is? Always comparing how they play sports better, perform fairer at a subject, have better clothes, or win the board games all the time? If they do, that’s completely natural.

When this happens, you may want to rush in and make your child feel better in any way. While that’s completely natural too, as a parent, however, it is your job to think in the long-term and try to weed out the “comparing” habit of your kid as early as you can. This can only be achieved by cultivating self-confidence and a growth mindset within the kids so that they view the world as a place to grow instead of a place to compete.

Proven ways to help your kid stop doing comparisons

There are certain tried and tested techniques to help children come out of this bad habit and feel good about themselves.

1.      Start with yourself

Of course, if it’s who has compared your child to another kid, you’re at complete fault. If you expect your kiddo to feel progressive instead of competitive, do not ever talk about how another kid has done something better. It will instantly teach them to look at outward value and feel “lesser,” leading to other psychological problems such as inferiority complex.

2.      Celebrate their progress

Meet your children wherever they are in their life’s progress and celebrate it genuinely. Do not focus on the end result; instead, applaud their hard work and efforts to let them know that they are their own competition. Foster the sense that their personal growth is the priority, no matter if someone else is faster or better. Praise them when they do better than they did yesterday and teach them to compete with themselves and no one else.

3.      Teach them to track their goals

Planning is an important part of success. According to psychologists, the best way to focus on reaching goals is to keep track of them. Teach your children to make a checklist of the habits/activities needed to achieve the desired outcome, which should revolve around their personal growth and development. This will help them internalize the work they put in to create momentum towards their goals.

4.      Be proud of their results, even if it isn’t satisfactory

Every child needs a champion in his/her life who is an adult who keeps motivating them to do better than they did yesterday. They want a parent who unwaveringly believes in their capabilities and celebrates the result that they reap, even if it isn’t as per their expectations. If your kid scores 80% instead of 90% at an exam, tell them you’re truly proud of it and know that s/he can do even better. That’s the only way you can nurture their self-confidence.

You see, humans tend to unintentionally start comparing themselves when they see the same species doing the same thing in a better, more successful way. They are prone to see the “less” or “more” in others, and we shouldn’t blame them for doing so. Instead, make sure you support your child at every step along the way and make them believe that you’re the proudest parents on the Earth.

Don't Fit In was created to help you and your kids feel confident in their true selves. Boldly walking into life as the authentic, unique souls you were born to be. Highlighting the differences in every person. We are all different and it’s these nuances that make us beautiful. 





Courtney North

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